I want it all. Is that too much to ask?

It's been entirely too long since I've written a blog post for something other than work. I've got to try to do a better job of balancing my personal life with my work life. Today happens to be the perfect day to do that.

I read this article a couple of weeks ago called ""The Trouble with Bright Girls", and although I didn't agree with everything it said, it did succeed in making me reconsider some things in my life. It basically touches upon how the most driven girls often times are the least satisfied.

I have always been one who would fall into the category of the "bright girls". In high school I was a varsity athlete, part of the top bands and choir, and a High Honor Roll student. Yet, I always felt like I should be doing something more. I contemplated joining more sports teams, wondered why my class rank wasn't higher, and got disappointed when I was moved from lead-off hitter or was named as second chair.

Not much has changed since high school. In college, I continued worrying that I wasn't doing enough. I had a lot of fun and became very active, but always worried if I was making the wrong decisions when it came to which sorority I joined, which major I selected, and which internships I accepted.

Still today, I debate my post-graduate life incessantly. Will I ever be able to break out of temporary positions? Will I make enough money? Will I live in a cool city? Will I be able to meet cool people? Is my current career path worth the sacrifices?

I have always been, and will always be, a planner. But how much planning is too much? Am I passing on great opportunities because I think they aren't great enough? Am I stressing over the potential of finding something better instead of appreciating and enjoying the place where I am?

I want it all. And I used to think there was no reason I couldn't have it all. But I am finding that there will always be sacrifices to be made. I can choose a great city to live in, or to be near my friends and family, or chase my dream job...but at some point, these things may become mutually exclusive. That is a pretty hard concept to handle because for the girl who wants it all, it feels an awful lot like failure.

At the end of the day, there is a quote that I have always loved and try to apply to my life:

"Obviously everyone wants to be successful, but I want to be looked back on as being very innovative, very trusted and ethical, and ultimately making a big difference in the world." -Sergey Brin

This quote always makes me consider how I want people to look back on me and how I want to look back at myself.

I will always be the type of person who can't help but wonder, "What if?". But I think I would rather ask myself "What-if I hadn't?" than "What if i had?". From now on, my plan will be to take good opportunities as they arise. I may not have it all, but at least I can be proud of working towards getting it.

Cheers to taking chances. Let's see what happens.